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The only reason I would
take up exercising is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.
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I joined a health club
last year, spent about 400 bucks. Haven't lost a pound. Apparently you have
to show up.
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I have to exercise early
in the morning before my brain figures out what I'm doing.
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I like long walks,
especially when they are taken by people who annoy me.
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I have flabby thighs, but
fortunately my stomach covers them.
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The advantage of
exercising every day is that you die healthier.
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If you are going to try
cross-country skiing, start with a small country.
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And last but not least: I
don't exercise because it makes the ice jump right out of my glass.
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Old Fashioned Arm and Shoulder Workout
I thought I would let you, my friends, in on a little secret I've found for building my arm and shoulder muscles. You might wish to adopt this regimen. Three days a week works well.
I start by
standing outside behind the house and, with a 5 pound potato sack in each hand,
extend my arms straight out to my sides and hold them there as long as I can.
After a few weeks I moved up to 10 pound potato sacks, then 50 pound potato
sacks and finally I got to where I could lift a 100 pound potato sack in each
hand and hold my arms straight out for more than a full minute! Next, I started
putting a few potatoes in the sacks, but I would caution you not to overdo it at
this level.
Diets &
Dying
The Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than the British
or Americans.
The French eat a lot of fat and also suffer fewer heart attacks than the British
or Americans.
The Japanese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than the
British or Americans.
The Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and also suffer fewer heart
attacks than the British or Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beers and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer
fewer heart attacks than the British or Americans.
CONCLUSION:
Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.